UNCOILED – The Start
I have been writing poetry off and on since I was a kid. It was always a secret passion because my poetry is so personal and often dark. I was afraid of sharing that side of myself with the world. I wanted to be a person who exuded positivity and optimism and didn’t think that the dark and the light could co-exist.
In August 2016 I had the pleasure of attending a creativity and female empowerment retreat called Warrior Woman Rising created by Andréa Balt, an extraordinary writer and creative superhero. Through Andréa’s classes and through the incredibly strong and inspiring women I met on that journey, I found my voice. I discovered that the dark side of me is powerful and needs to be heard. I learned to embrace the recurring nightmares I had about snakes as a message from my inner voice. I’ve been able to take the pain I’ve experienced in this life as a being who feels things very deeply, and weave it into art.
The following poem is the poem that started it all. It was a poem I wrote during the retreat and shared at the closing ceremony. It’s the first poem I had ever shared with anyone and the support I received after reading it was one of the most empowering moments of my life. I thank all of my fellow Warrior Women for encouraging me, and I am grateful to anyone taking the time to read what I have to say. May you also find a way to accept and see the beauty in all all of the parts of yourself, the good and the bad, the light and the dark.
Warrior
I used to be afraid
Of the Darkness inside
I felt so ashamed
So I forced it to hide
I tried beating it down
I tried replacing it with light
I tried locking it with chains
But Darkness has fight
I’ve felt a strong shift
I can hear a faint humming
I realize this Darkness
Inside me is calling
I can’t be afraid
So I give in, I am brave
I let it engulf me
Let it wrap me in flames
I enter this space
I explore the deep forest
I see clearer than ever
My eyes were made for this Darkness
I embark on a journey
Through the trees and the brush
I am searching for something
Though it isn’t clear what
On a rock by a river
I see these fierce eyes
They pierce through my soul
They burn through me like fire
Then I see these eyes
Belong to a woman
She is primal
Captivating
Untamed
And Wild
Her hair is in tangles
Her skin stained with mud
She sits crouched on the rock
Her fangs dripping with blood
There are snakes crawling on her
They twist and the weave
Slithering
Hissing
Protecting their Queen
She sees me
She rises
She lets out a low growl
My heart races
I want to run
But I am entranced
By her power
Her dark silhouette
Is sensual yet regal
She moves smooth like the Snake
With the power of the Eagle
I see I am in the presence
Of a great Goddess
Who boldly rules over
The creatures of Darkness
As she comes closer
I feel a strange spark
Something is familiar
About this Wild Queen of the Dark
We stand face to face
And I am filled with her rage
I can see her story
Feel the life in her veins
I realize I am looking
Back at my own face
I am this woman
I’ve kept locked in this space
I am no longer afraid
So I unchain the Darkness
I embrace this feral creature
And unleash my Wild